using descriptors; ensure that mock.patch() honors descriptor setters

old / new style, direct access, and ad-hoc patching and
unpatching as possible

functionality.   Added a new "soft invalidate" feature to the
connection pool at the level of the checked out connection wrapper
as well as the :class:`._ConnectionRecord`.  This works similarly
to a modern pool invalidation in that connections aren't actively
closed, but are recycled only on next checkout; this is essentially
a per-connection version of that feature.  A new event
:class:`.PoolEvents.soft_invalidate` is added to complement it.
fixes #3379

- Added new flag
:attr:`.ExceptionContext.invalidate_pool_on_disconnect`.
Allows an error handler within :meth:`.ConnectionEvents.handle_error`
to maintain a "disconnect" condition, but to handle calling invalidate
on individual connections in a specific manner within the event.

- Added new event :class:`.DialectEvents.do_connect`, which allows
interception / replacement of when the :meth:`.Dialect.connect`
hook is called to create a DBAPI connection.  Also added
dialect plugin hooks :meth:`.Dialect.get_dialect_cls` and
:meth:`.Dialect.engine_created` which allow external plugins to
add events to existing dialects using entry points.
fixes #3355

passed as a keyword argument to the :meth:`.DDLEvents.before_create`,
:meth:`.DDLEvents.after_create`, :meth:`.DDLEvents.before_drop`, and
:meth:`.DDLEvents.after_drop` events would no longer be a list
of tables, but instead a list of tuples which contained a second
entry with foreign keys to be added or dropped.  As the ``tables``
collection, while documented as not necessarily stable, has come
to be relied upon, this change is considered a regression.
Additionally, in some cases for "drop", this collection would
be an iterator that would cause the operation to fail if
prematurely iterated.   The collection is now a list of table
objects in all cases and test coverage for the format of this
collection is now added.
fixes #3391

:paramref:`.Pool.reset_on_return` parameter as a synonym for ``None``,
so that string values can be used for all settings, allowing
.ini file utilities like :func:`.engine_from_config` to be usable
without issue.
fixes #3375

in some cases, interfering with tests that check pool._refs

That is, after exhausing all rows using the fetch methods, the
DBAPI cursor is released as before and the object may be safely
discarded, but the fetch methods may continue to be called for which
they will return an end-of-result object (None for fetchone, empty list
for fetchmany and fetchall).   Only if :meth:`.ResultProxy.close`
is called explicitly will these methods raise the "result is closed"
error.
fixes #3330 fixes #3329