engine_connect event, allowing easy detection of disconnects
and full invalidation of the pool

Called after the :meth:`.Engine.dispose` method is called.

functionality.   Added a new "soft invalidate" feature to the
connection pool at the level of the checked out connection wrapper
as well as the :class:`._ConnectionRecord`.  This works similarly
to a modern pool invalidation in that connections aren't actively
closed, but are recycled only on next checkout; this is essentially
a per-connection version of that feature.  A new event
:class:`.PoolEvents.soft_invalidate` is added to complement it.
fixes #3379

- Added new flag
:attr:`.ExceptionContext.invalidate_pool_on_disconnect`.
Allows an error handler within :meth:`.ConnectionEvents.handle_error`
to maintain a "disconnect" condition, but to handle calling invalidate
on individual connections in a specific manner within the event.

- Added new event :class:`.DialectEvents.do_connect`, which allows
interception / replacement of when the :meth:`.Dialect.connect`
hook is called to create a DBAPI connection.  Also added
dialect plugin hooks :meth:`.Dialect.get_dialect_cls` and
:meth:`.Dialect.engine_created` which allow external plugins to
add events to existing dialects using entry points.
fixes #3355

take effect in all engine connection use cases, including
when user-custom connect routines are used via the
:paramref:`.create_engine.creator` parameter, as well as when
the :class:`.Connection` encounters a connection error on
revalidation.
fixes #3266

added docs to clarify that sql statement is already in a dialect

as that of :ticket:`3199`, when the ``named=True`` parameter
would be used.  Some events would fail to register, and others
would not invoke the event arguments correctly, generally in the
case of when an event was "wrapped" for adaption in some other way.
The "named" mechanics have been rearranged to not interfere with
the argument signature expected by internal wrapper functions.
fixes #3197